You | Oikawa Tooru

Disclaimer: I do not own Haikyuu or Oikawa or other characters that are mentioned. I am not making any profit from this fic and I write purely for the love of the characters. Haikyuu is the property of Haruichi Furudate.

Soft. Her hair, hands, voice, her presence. It soothes me.

Again. Yet again, his thoughts were of you. Many times throughout the day, his thoughts drifted away from the topics in class to you.

Your smile; how the edge of your lips curl up slightly right before you smile, and how your lips are shaped so prettily, almost like a heart. 

Your voice; the way you'd call his name. The sound of your laughter and giggles as it filled the room and air around you, bringing a smile to those near and having others join in on your cheer and joy. 

He knew it was too overbearing. But he couldn't help it. How could he when your gentleness and understanding has kept him sane for the past three years whenever his thoughts turned too dark? You were always able to understand him. You always seemed to know what was on his mind. She's amazing.

Oikawa isn't sure when it happened, or how it happened. When had he stopped seeing you as "just a good friend" to "someone more than a friend." But that's probably just my side. He doesn't think you feel the same way. How could you with the way he acted some times? But truth to be told, it scared him. It scares him how attached he is to you; how much you mean to him; and how much happiness and color you bring to his life. 

Like the single ray of light breaking through the cloudy skies. His finger trails along the windows in the hallways as he slowly takes a detour after volleyball practice. It was the usual. He had stayed after again, even though Iwaizumi and his coach had advised him not to. Even though he knew against his better judgement that he is overworking himself.

But volleyball is the only thing that keeps her off my mind. His eyelids fluttered shut as he stills all motion and energy that coursed through his being. His eyes slowly open to look out the window, his chocolate orbs gazing at the ever familiar gates of Aoba Johsai. But the feathery touch of his finger tip on the window sill is replaced with his hand as he grips onto it. When? When did this start that she became all I think about during every waking hour? His grip slowly tightens and he turns away from the window, as though that one ray of light reminded him too much of you. Everything and anything that even slightly resembled you stirred up emotions he thought he would never have. His heart palpitated rapidly at the sight of you, and a blush threatens to overtake his perfectly crafted mask that he adorns before his peers. 

But he suffocates those emotions of his. He ignores the way his pulse picks up its pace from the thought of you alone. He fights down the flush of pink that threatens to paint his cheeks and tinge his ears. But he can't help but occasionally tune in to the deeper part of his heart and his thoughts. His inner desire to claim you as his, and his alone. And he does his best to not contemplate either side.

Because neither of them are right. She deserves so much better than someone like me. When my thoughts are so impure and... his thoughts that grumbled and dampened his calmness stops. Oikawa's lips are drawn into a slight pout and he almost sighed. He'll ignore his own selfish desires and neglect his feelings if you didn't feel the same way, after all, the most important thing to him was that you were still by his side. He didn't want to lose you. He couldn't afford to.

I just want to cherish her, and maybe.. if she feels the same-

"Tooru-kun?"

Oikawa doesn't believe his ears at the sound of your voice, but he can't mistaken it. He can spot you from afar, no matter how many figures tower over yours. And your voice, your laughter was like a siren's song; no matter the location, he'd hear you, and he'd follow it to the end. His eyes that were once filled with turmoil and conflict are suddenly alighted with life and curiosity. Your voice had brought him away from his thoughts and he turns around, chocolate orbs locking with the warmth of your gaze. Both you and him reflect confusion on each other's faces, but mostly surprise. 

"You're still on campus?" you asked as you approached him. He notices that you have your school bag with you still. He glances past you, and realizes you must have been studying in the library this entire time. And he slowly, ever so slowly nods his head. You furrowed your brows and asked, "Tooru-kun... you weren't overworking yourself again, were you?"

From the flinch that managed to break through his mask, Oikawa tries to muster up some sort of excuse. As much as he was infatuated with you, he didn't like it when you were upset at him. You can see him pulling up his facade again, the same one he would when around his fan girls and classmates. Before he even opens his mouth, you immediately mumbled, "Don't."

"[F/N]-chan..?" his voice drops, and it's the genuine Oikawa again. Not the flirtatious and flamboyant volleyball captain that he showed to his acquaintances and opposing teams; but the serious side of him, the one that cares about those close to him. The genuine Oikawa who's deepest fear and insecurity is the idea of being replaced, the idea that he wasn't good enough. His gaze searches yours and he can see you shakily take in a breath and resolve yourself before addressing him again.

"Don't pretend to be okay around me. I'm your best friend aren't I?" you confronted him, and then immediately, your resolve wavers upon seeing his surprise and slight wince. You sheepishly fiddle with the hem of your school uniform and shuffled your feet and mumbled, "I mean, I know I'm not the one who normally nags you like Iwaizumi-kun does, but I do know you. I know you're honest with me. I just-" 

He notices that you stopped, and you can feel the blood rushing to your face when you realized how you were acting out of your place as "just a friend." It's not like I'm his girlfriend or anything, why am I being so-

"Thanks [F/N]-chan," Oikawa chuckled. This was fine. He was okay with this, this content feeling of being able to be nagged at by you. It showed you cared. And he really did appreciate it. The smile on his lips was soft, gentle, and something you'd probably never see on him if it was during normal school hours. And this time, you lose to your body as the blush takes over your cheeks, dusting it with a faint pink. But his smile goes from the gentle, genuine Oikawa, to the Oikawa that takes every advantage to tease his friends and morphs into a sly smirk.

"Oh, is that a blush I see on your face?" he teased, and he internally laughs at the way your lips mouths a small o before forming a pout and you whined, "Tooru-kun!"

To your surprise though, the laughter that tumbles out and fills the air is not what you had expected. You had expected an endless amount of teasing, of the two of you bantering, but this was different. It was refreshing and new; and you were more than glad that he feels comfortable enough to be so free around you. He notices that your gaze was slightly different, there was newfound appreciation and gratitude. His eyes widened, and he can feel himself relaxing yet again. There was a comfortable silence that fell between the two of you. Small smiles on both visages, and nothing but ambiance and warmth in the air. 

So cute. 

Oikawa doesn't register that his thoughts had spilled into reality until he notices you looking away. Hands on your cheek as you tried to hide the growing blush that threatened to take over your visage. Upon realization, Oikawa's hiding his face behind his hands, desperately hoping you didn't realize his mistake, but from the glances you sent his way, he's pretty sure there's no hiding it.

"What are you- Tooru-kun- you.." your voice is wavering, and you're definitely flustered and you whined softly, "You're so unfair. When you act like this, I-"

"I'm only like this with you," he blurted out, much to his internal voice's dismay. But upon seeing the way your eyes widened, and he, dare he say it, sees the relief and love in your gaze makes his throat feel dry. His heart seems to be jumping erratically and he softly muttered, "I'm only like this around you." 

His voice trailed off in the end. Oikawa, the ever cheerful and confident volleyball captain. The idol of girls on and off campus, and the one male friend you were closest to was blushing. He was clearly nervous with the way his hand gripped onto his school bag so tightly. But his eyes were determined, his gaze firm and resolute as he stared back into yours. Your lips were chapped, whether it be from the dryness of the air, or from the fact that you were nervous, you dared to ask the one question you needed an answer to.

"What do you mean?"

Your voice was nothing more than a whisper and he softly mumbled the answer. The three words you have been desperately hoping to hear. Your heart was racing, and it was as though fireworks had set off, but you were blinded. Whether it was from your emotions or the fact that you feel just as strongly about him as he does you, you were struggling to keep calm. But your eyes were slowly watering, and you couldn't fight back the wide grin that played at your lips. 

"I like you." "I like you." "I like you." Those were the three words you had only ever dreamed of hearing, but here it was. Reality. Oikawa was beyond terrified though. He couldn't read your thoughts from the fleeting emotions that crossed your features. And he wasn't sure if the glimmering of your eyes was a good sign. Out of nervousness, he takes a step forward, his hand reaching out for yours, but instead he's taken aback when you fling yourself into his open arms. 

His one step forward turns into three steps back as he attempts to balance both his weight and yours, but inevitably falls to the floor, landing on his butt as you ungracefully fall atop of him. Bubbles of laughter emerges and he can still feel your arms wrapped around his torso, as he sits up.

"[F/N]-chan? Does this-" Oikawa barely managed to ask, but he's cut off by how stunning you were. The smile on your lips and just you, as a whole, made him feel so complete, so warm.

"Yes," your answer was breathy, as though you were breathless from just the sight of him. And you gently pinched your cheek and then his, and you laughed, "This is real."

"Yes," he responded, a small smile on his lips, and he sits up completely, and pulls you closer. His forehead rested against yours, and he mumbled, "This is finally real."

You were here now, by his side.